Ella Gokhmark Jun 21, 2015:

@Susan After you mentioned quotes from poems I couldn't resist but say that in the actual description in your question Vygotsky quotes, not acknowledging it, from the poem by Konstantin Balmont about a dying swan (это плачет лебедь умирающий). Reference is below if you are interested (I haven't found an English translation of this poem).
https://www.stihi.ru/2001/10/06-518

Susan Welsh (asker) Jun 20, 2015:

Thanks to both of you. I will figure it out from here, one way or another. You'll be thrilled to know that the article on Vygotsky's short essay proceeds, in its lengthy footnotes, to quote at some length from poems by Pushkin, Mandelstam, and Bryusov, but I will not be asking any Kudoz questions about those. :-)

Rachel Douglas Jun 20, 2015:

@OWatts But dropping "на упор", it seems to me, would take away from the way V constructed the entire description. That is, if you hear that sentence as continuing the idea (and the grammar) of the previous one, isn't it like this? "... а трагического нажима всей силы духа на крылья рук. [и] На упор ведущих большие круги ног". If that understanding is correct, I don't see what's so mysterious about "на упор": it means pressing "upon the support." No?

OWatts Jun 20, 2015:

‘На упор’ is not easy to understand even for a native Russian speaker, so it does create an obstacle for a reader and a translation difficulty for a translator.
I think, the main idea of that bit of the sentence is that the Swan is trying as much as she can, with her full power of spirit, to push some force into her legs and wings (arms) so that she could take off.
I would probably drop ‘на упор’ altogether not to confuse the reader.
I would also avoid using the word ‘’bullet’ in the end as it could have been an arrow or a stone.
The contrast between the quick, dry, short en pointe, keeping the Swan pinned to the ground, and the long, extended, fluid arm movements, releasing and raising [lifting the Swan into the air], was full not of the gasping and tremor of approaching death, but of the tragic press of the spirit's full power upon her winged arms, and upon her legs tracing large circles. Not exhaustion and dissolution (the tears of the dying Swan), but tragic power, flights (take-offs?) of despair -- as the shot (injured?) wing beats the air.

Susan Welsh (asker) Jun 20, 2015:

@Rachel Thanks for the help. I omitted нажим because "pressure" sounded wrong, like something external pressing against an object, rather than internal muscular and spiritual effort (as you said, "mechanical") -- but "press" is better.

Rachel Douglas Jun 20, 2015:

About "нажим" and "сила" In the middle, you omitted "нажим" and kept "сила". It seemed to me that omitting "сила" might be better because 1) "трагическая сила" comes again in the last sentence anyway, and 2) I don't think this "pressure" should be dropped. I made it "press," so as to sound less mechanical (one of the official senses of "press" as a noun being "pressure"), while omitting "всей силы" the first time - "of the tragic press of the spirit." Maybe everything should be kept, though: - "of the tragic press of the spirit's full power upon" or "of the full power of the spirit, pressing tragically upon." (The ballerina may not have been breathless, but Vygotsky's prose is!)

Another possible refinement: "The contrast ... was" sounds awkward, given how much comes in between. Maybe "The quick, dry, short steps, keeping her pinned to the ground, and the contrasting long, extended, fluid arm movements, rising and releasing, were..."

Rachel Douglas Jun 20, 2015:

Other thoughts For me, cern's pointing out that "на крылья" and "на упор" are parallel, each an object of "нажим", made sense of the latter. What has remained less clear (to me) is "исполнен" followed by the genitive. Maybe it's this? Ozhegov has a second entry for "исполниться", which is "книжн. устар.", means "to be permeated by a certain feeling," and takes "чего". In the following suggestions for your draft, writing "permeated" or "imbued" about "contrast" sounded too odd, so I wrote merely "full," but suggested compensation by a couple of less common, more lofty-sounding turns of phrase elsewhere.

"The contrast between the quick, dry, short steps en pointe, keeping her pinned to the ground, and the long, extended, fluid arm movements, rising and releasing, was full not of the gasping and tremor of approaching death, but of the tragic press of the spirit upon the wings that were her arms, and upon the support of her legs, as they traced great circles. Not exhaustion and dissolution (as with a dying swan who weeps), but tragic power, flights of despair -- as the wing, pierced by a bullet, beats the air."

I don't understand OWatts's proposal "is meant to reflect" at all.

Susan Welsh (asker) Jun 20, 2015:

@OWatts I'm a little confused. The main question here seems to be how one understands "на упор." Is that where you are getting the concept of "hold on to the ground"? Here's what I have now for the whole passage (having gotten rid of some words altogether): "The contrast between quick, dry, short steps {en pointe}, as if pinned to the ground, and the slow, long, fluid arm movements, rising and releasing, was performed not with the gasp and tremor of approaching death, but with the full power of the spirit tragically moving her winged arms, while her legs trace large circles. Not exhaustion and dissolution (the tears of the dying swan), but tragic power, flights of despair -- as the wing, pierced by a bullet, beats against the air."

OWatts Jun 19, 2015:

@Susan Sorry, Susan, I think you mistranslated this bit. I am not a native speaker of English myself, so I can't produce a high quality translation of this excerpt, but this is what I've come with. I hope it gives you a better idea of what Vygotsy was trying to say (I agree he doesn't express himself clearly):
The contrast between the dry, short and brisk steps...and the long, protruded and moist movements of the arms ... is meant to reflect not the fading away and premortal tremor of the swan, but how tragically, with all her willpower, she pushes her wings-arms upwards - and her feet, that are tracing great circles, hold on to the ground.

Susan Welsh (asker) Jun 19, 2015:

Thanks, Ella I simply assumed this was a scene from Swan Lake (didn't know Saint-Saens wrote a ballet of the Dying Swan). When I was seven years old I wanted to be a ballerina, but since then I have been quite ignorant about the subject! I am glad to have your correction.

Ella Gokhmark Jun 19, 2015:

Маленькая поправка - не к переводу, а к содержанию оригинала. Описывается миниатюра Сен-Санса "Умирающий лебедь", а не балет "Лебединое озеро". И хотя в первом клипе с Плисецкой вначале звучит музыка из "Лебединого", танец все же показан другой. (Извините, не могла пройти мимо этого близкого моему сердцу предмета :-)

Susan Welsh (asker) Jun 18, 2015:

videos Thanks! Plisetskaya in particular is stunning. (I actually watched a performance of this by another dancer in the afternoon, trying to figure out where the big circles of the legs came in. Better than the SPIEF.) KB recommended to me a video on Plisetakaya, which I couldn't find on Netflix or at stores when I looked for it. But I think it may be on the page you linked to. I'll check it out later.

Rachel Douglas Jun 18, 2015:

Short steps and big circles I don't think it's that first the dancer does short steps and then big circles. "With her short, dry steps en pointe," she traces big circles. Look at these early 20th-century ladies:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXMmx_8oshU
Or Plisetskaya (R.I.P.), from 01:50 in this clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-AMH_Woywg

cern Jun 18, 2015:

Yes, "emphasis" instead of "support". Tatiana is right.

Susan Welsh (asker) Jun 18, 2015:

grammar Thanks to you both, I think I've got the grammar now -- ведущих goes with ног. I was confused because of the большие круги in the middle there. :-(
I guess he means the legs are making large circles LATER in the dance, after the "short, dry steps."

Tatiana Grehan Jun 18, 2015:

Выражение *На упор ведущих большие круги ног* даже по-русски звучит "коряво" (по-моему). Правильный порядок слов: "На упор ног, ведущих большие круги" - "emphasis on the legs, making large circles".