| Страници в темата: < [1 2 3 4 5 6] > | Etiquette: thanking everyone who agrees with you Автор на темата: JeffFish (X)
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JeffFish (X)
Local time: 05:46
Немски на Английски
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АВТОР НА ТЕМАТА | Last attempt at getting my point across | Mar 4, 2005 |
...are you under the impression that this "sycophantic" or "ingratiating" behaviour happens that excessively that it would warrant a specific rule to be devised?
Given that we humans are just advanced primates, I think there is a risk of a "monkey see, monkey do" pattern arising. gad's post ("I've seen it, and I think I've done it") seems to confirm this.
To be honest, I couldn't care less if other people want to be exceedingly grateful, as long as I'm not considered rude if I choose not to. That's why I suggested at least a guideline (and I did say guideline, not rule) be recorded somewhere for reference, if only to avoid confusion/hurt feelings.
That aside, only thanking the people who agree with you (and snubbing those who disagree) should be strongly discouraged.
That's all I have to say about that.
Blah blah blah from Berlin,
Jeff Zalkind
| | | | Alaa Zeineldine 
Египет
Local time: 06:46
Член (2002)
Английски на Арабски
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| Another example | Mar 4, 2005 |
Here's anoter variation on Edward's example. Is this nice, polite, or helpful:
JeffZ:
Thank you Jeff!
Edward Potter:
Thank you Ed!
Angela Arnone:
Atenea Acevedo:
Thanks Atenea!
Mats Wiman:
Hi Mats, thank you: )
TonyTK:
Gad:
Thank you!
Claudia Iglesias:
Giuliana Buscaglione:
Hello Giuliana, thanks!
Andrea Di Marco:
... See more Here's anoter variation on Edward's example. Is this nice, polite, or helpful:
JeffZ:
Thank you Jeff!
Edward Potter:
Thank you Ed!
Angela Arnone:
Atenea Acevedo:
Thanks Atenea!
Mats Wiman:
Hi Mats, thank you: )
TonyTK:
Gad:
Thank you!
Claudia Iglesias:
Giuliana Buscaglione:
Hello Giuliana, thanks!
Andrea Di Marco:
Kim Metzger:
What's your point?
Yolanda Broad:
Harry_B:
Thank you!
Michele Fauble:
Andycw:
Hilary Davies:
Nesrin:
Shukran Nesrin!
Brandis:
Thank you
Kathinka Lavelle:
----
Maybe this will make things clearer.
Seriously of course, all contributions to this discussion are worthy of thanks, and I do see Kim's point : )
Alaa
[Edited at 2005-03-04 12:17] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Andy Watkinson
Испания
Local time: 05:46
Член
Каталански на Английски
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| I see no snubs...... | Mar 4, 2005 |
"That aside, only thanking the people who agree with you (and snubbing those who disagree) should be strongly discouraged"
Jeff, from what I've seen, this is hardly ever the case. When a person disagrees they're obliged to give a reason, as is only natural.
When someone disagrees with me, I must admit I don't say thank you, but do give the reason why I think I'm right (otherwise I wouldn't have posted the answer in the first place).
So, as I say, it's very ... See more "That aside, only thanking the people who agree with you (and snubbing those who disagree) should be strongly discouraged"
Jeff, from what I've seen, this is hardly ever the case. When a person disagrees they're obliged to give a reason, as is only natural.
When someone disagrees with me, I must admit I don't say thank you, but do give the reason why I think I'm right (otherwise I wouldn't have posted the answer in the first place).
So, as I say, it's very seldom the case.
I really think this is a molehill.
Thanks for reading,
Andy ▲ Collapse
| | | | Edward Potter
Съединени американски щати
Local time: 23:46
Член (2003)
Испански на Английски
+ ...
Alaa, you've got me cracking up! I thought mine was humorous but yours is great because of the length. The smiley face was a great detail. It was annoyingly funny to scroll through your post.
Yeah, and you people arguing the molehill, in the end it's just a piddly little thing, isn't it?
Be good to yourselves, everyone, and above all, thank you!
[Edited at 2005-03-04 12:37]
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| That's a hilarious example ;-) | Mar 4, 2005 |
I note that I WASNT thanked in that thread )
I shall go and cry now
| | | | | I thank people and I will keep on doing it | Mar 4, 2005 |
I thank people who agree with my answers. I also thank everybody for having suggested an answer to a question I've asked, not only the person who helped me most.
I like to thank and I also like to be thanked. I would also thank people if they disagreed with one of my answers if I realized by his/her answer that I was wrong. I guess it has already happened to me here.
To say "thank you" is polite, as Angela mentioned, and that's how I've been raised by my parents, so I s... See more I thank people who agree with my answers. I also thank everybody for having suggested an answer to a question I've asked, not only the person who helped me most.
I like to thank and I also like to be thanked. I would also thank people if they disagreed with one of my answers if I realized by his/her answer that I was wrong. I guess it has already happened to me here.
To say "thank you" is polite, as Angela mentioned, and that's how I've been raised by my parents, so I say "thank you" whenever I feel that people are contributing constructively with something.
It makes me smile to hear or say "thank you". It means we are human beings. It means that we live in society, that we care somehow for others. Wasting some time writing "thank you" each time someone agrees with you here at proZ, can mean "hello! You're here, I'm here, we both have the same PROFESSIONAL opinion, it's nice". I also think it's professional to say "thank you". It also reveals something about the other person's personality. And when we meet someone at the powwows, we remember "Oh! You're that person who is always polite and also has got a 'thank you' to say whenever I give an opinion", and vice-versa. I think it's easier to meet other people at the powwows if you know that you already had some feedback for him/her, even if it's only a "thank you".
This tread really puzzled me. Why can't people do what they like and say "thank you" whenever they feel like it? Why is this a discussion subject? People who don't like to do say "thank you", although I think it is not polite at all, just don't do it. I don't think it is a nice thing to comment on people's educational and civilizational behaviour. That's how we're like. Full stop.
Ivana ▲ Collapse
| | | | tr. (X)
Local time: 05:46
Английски на Италиански
JeffZ wrote:
To be honest, I couldn't care less if other people want to be exceedingly grateful, as long as I'm not considered rude if I choose not to.
Same here. I don't think there's any need for a guideline though, after all it says "response (optional)". I take that "optional" very literally. So unless I have something to add or an actual comment to reply to, I generally don't respond to an agree. I see a lot of others who don't, either, so, I don't think anyone would *seriously* think it's rude... I guess for some it's just more spontaneous to add a thank you every time, for others it's not, I wouldn't read too much into it.
But!, while we're here, and just in case!, let me take the chance to say thank you to everyone that sent a thank you to me for an agree I gave to their answer to an asker's question, and to point out that if I never sent thank you's in response to agrees to an answer I offered to a question from an asker (phew), it should be noted that it's not because I am a lazy, rude, obnoxious and anti-social being. Well, at least, not always.
Now since I'm being silly, here's a silly question: if this thread had a soundtrack, what song would you choose?
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=3:thank%20you
| | | | Klaus Herrmann
Германия
Local time: 05:46
Член (2002)
Английски на Немски
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| Disagrees are most valuable input | Mar 4, 2005 |
JeffZ wrote:
To be honest, I couldn't care less if other people want to be exceedingly grateful, as long as I'm not considered rude if I choose not to.
Fair enough.
That aside, only thanking the people who agree with you (and snubbing those who disagree) should be strongly discouraged.
Most definitely. Actually, a (peer) disagree is extremely helpful because if my suggestion was correct, I may not have explained it good enough, and I can make an addition to make my point clear. If I was wrong, I learned something and (hopefully) won't make this mistake again. Hence a disagree is almost more important than an agree.
Blahblah from Düsseldorf,
Klaus
[Edited at 2005-03-04 15:33]
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Sormane Fitzgerald
Съединени американски щати
Local time: 23:46
Portuguese на Английски
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| If it makes you happy... | Mar 4, 2005 |
When I first joined the site, I noticed all the "thank yous" and I said to myself: “Oh, how nice". Then, I followed suit. I didn’t want to go against the grain. Well, after a while, as I started contributing more, it got to the point that I’d be “Oh, did I thank X and Y from question Z? That’s when I said “Ok, enough of that”. I just don’t have the time to add one more chore in my life. Now, I thank or make a comment if the person added something to my suggestion, like a link or ... See more When I first joined the site, I noticed all the "thank yous" and I said to myself: “Oh, how nice". Then, I followed suit. I didn’t want to go against the grain. Well, after a while, as I started contributing more, it got to the point that I’d be “Oh, did I thank X and Y from question Z? That’s when I said “Ok, enough of that”. I just don’t have the time to add one more chore in my life. Now, I thank or make a comment if the person added something to my suggestion, like a link or something.
Having said that, I think it’s perfectly OK to thank people for their "agrees". It’s like that song by Sheryl Crow: If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad…
Sormane Gomes
P.S. And yes, I open doors for people, I help mothers with their strollers, old ladies cross the street... I thank the operator on the phone, the man at the grocery store, etc, etc. Let's not confuse the issues here.
[Edited at 2005-03-04 16:55] ▲ Collapse
| | | | sarahl (X)
Local time: 20:46
Английски на Френски
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| Yes it is! :-) | Mar 4, 2005 |
Alaa Zeineldine wrote:
Is this nice, polite, or helpful:
JeffZ:
Thank you Jeff!
Edward Potter:
Thank you Ed!
Angela Arnone:
Atenea Acevedo:
Thanks Atenea!
Mats Wiman:
Hi Mats, thank you: )
TonyTK:
Gad:
Thank you!
Claudia Iglesias:
Giuliana Buscaglione:
Hello Giuliana, thanks!
Andrea Di Marco:
Kim Metzger:
What's your point?
Yolanda Broad:
Harry_B:
Thank you!
Michele Fauble:
Andycw:
Hilary Davies:
Nesrin:
Shukran Nesrin!
Brandis:
Thank you
Kathinka Lavelle:
----
Yes, Alaa, seriously, I think it's very nice!
Shukran for your contribution.
Sarah
| | | | RHELLER
Съединени американски щати
Local time: 21:46
Френски на Английски
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| Surprising comments :-) | Mar 4, 2005 |
I was really surprised to read the comments in this forum.
I do not see saying thank you as "icky" - I think it is simply being polite and giving peers recognition by name.
I have had the pleasure of conversing privately with many of my colleagues from proz. I don't think I would have ever had that chance if I wouldn't have addressed them by name. It's a way of beginning a dialogue.
Of course, I totally respect the other point of view and I am not upset w... See more I was really surprised to read the comments in this forum.
I do not see saying thank you as "icky" - I think it is simply being polite and giving peers recognition by name.
I have had the pleasure of conversing privately with many of my colleagues from proz. I don't think I would have ever had that chance if I wouldn't have addressed them by name. It's a way of beginning a dialogue.
Of course, I totally respect the other point of view and I am not upset when I do not get a response. All members should be free to do as they wish, as long as they observe the rules.
(I may be old-fashioned because I still say thank you to anyone who holds the door open for me and I hold the door open for others) ▲ Collapse
| | | | | From a notorious thanker... | Mar 4, 2005 |
Thanks!
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Michele Fauble
Съединени американски щати
Local time: 20:46
Norwegian на Английски
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| Social aspect | Mar 4, 2005 |
I do think there is a social element involved in saying 'thank you' that some people are not recognizing. We work in a global workplace. Somebody pops in with an agree, comment, whatever, so I say 'thank you'. Maybe we should just say 'Hi' instead.
Hi to everyone I've seen again during this discussion and to those I've met for the first time.
And thanks to you all.
Michele Fauble
| | | | RHELLER
Съединени американски щати
Local time: 21:46
Френски на Английски
+ ...
Saying hi is another good option
we are human as someone pointed out above.
| | | | Alaa Zeineldine
Египет
Local time: 06:46
Член (2002)
Английски на Арабски
+ ...
Hello Sarah,
Do you mean that it is very nice not to thank those who give you an honest objective opinion because they do not agree with you?
sarahl wrote:
Yes, Alaa, seriously, I think it's very nice!
[Edited at 2005-03-04 22:25]
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